Funeral Service and Burial
Jewish law requires that the dead be buried within
twenty-four hours after death and it is traditional for the funeral service and burial to be arranged promptly to pay respect for the dead and the family of the deceased.
A delay in the burial to allow for preparation of the body and coffin, the arrival of relatives or for a Jewish holiday to pass are allowed, but this delay must not extend more than three days. A burial may also be delayed if a death occurs on Shabbat, Yom Kippur or the first day of major festivals.
Furthermore, if two deaths occur simultaneously, a woman is always buried
before a man, and a scholar is always buried before an average citizen.
A mourner for one's parents, spouse, children and siblings customarily participates in the rite of k'riah, rending of graments, just prior to the funeral service. This consists of
tearing a visible piece of clothing which is then worn
throughout the seven-day period of shiva, except on Shabbat. Some people extend this custom to wear the torn clothing for all of sheloshim, the thirty days following burial.
A mourner is exempt from performing all religious duties from the
time of a loved one's death until the burial.
Today, most funeral services take place at the grave
site or in a funeral home, followed by the burial of the body. The service often begins with the reciting of specific prayers, often psalms
23 and psalms 121. The core part
of the funeral service is the eulogy, often given by a close friend or
family member who can provide the deceased with their last sign
of respect. The singing of El Malei Rachamim, a hymn that asks God to watch over the deceased
and grant them peace, usually closes the service.
The coffin is then carried to the grave site by honored
pallbearers - usually close friends and relatives but not
immediate family. On the route to the grave site, the pallbearers and
mourners pause at least seven times to lament and recite more psalms. This is symbolic
of the mourners’ unwillingness to allow the deceased to pass on.
Once the procession reaches the grave site, the coffin
is lowered into the ground. Each person then fulfills their mitzvah
of helping to bury the dead by putting a small amount of dirt into the
hole. After the coffin has been partially buried, all those present
recite the Mourner’s Kaddish. At that time, those not in the immediate
mourning family form two lines out of the cemetery offering condolences
to the relatives. Once the service has been completed, it is customary
to wash one’s hands, symbolizing the return to purity.
Friends and associates of the deceased may make condolence
calls after the funeral during the shivah week, except on Shabbat.
Flowers for the deceased is usually not appropiate in Jewish households though offering to sponsor meals is a widely accepted custom.
Sources: Eisenberg, Ronald L. The
JPS Guide to Jewish Traditions. PA: Jewish Publication Society,
2004; Kolatch, Alfred J. The
Jewish Book of Why/The Second Jewish Book of Why. NY: Jonathan
David Publishers, 1989. |